I woke up early this
morning and snuck out to enjoy some rare peace and quiet and read the
paper.  A few minutes later, out comes Toshi.  So, picture
this … I’m sitting on the couch with the paper spread in front of me,
engrossed in an article.  Toshi’s question to me?  “What are
you doing?”  My response?  “I’m jumping rope.”  Sheesh
… what does it look like I’m doing? 

And he’s asked me
what’s wrong about five times this morning.  There’s nothing to
ruin a perfectly good mood like someone badgering me about what’s wrong
when there’s absolutely nothing wrong.  One of these inquiries
came after I very cheerfully remarked that we’re going to have a yummy
lunch today because we have leftovers from our Chinatown adventure last
night.  “What’s wrong?”    Huh?  That was it … I snapped.  “Are you trying
to be annoying or does it just come naturally?”  Of course then he
feels validated because obviously  I am grumpy about something.

Quote of the day:


The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy
it.  The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. 
It’s the same with men.  ~Lupe Velez

I think I need
an intervention … another night lost to mahjong solitaire.  I
should have been paying bills and correcting papers, so I guess it may
be a late night tonight.  I have been putting in almost 11-hour
days and then coming home to do more work, so I guess a night of
mindless activity here and there is okay.



Tomorrow will be a long day
since I have to plan for a substitute on Friday.  My stepmom’s
mother passed away, and her funeral is on Friday.  It’s on a work
day and about two hours from here, but I really feel like I should
go.  I just hate missing work.  In the past ten years I’ve
only missed a handful of days.  I think I have more than seventy
sick days accumulated … that’s how infrequently I miss school. 
Usually, if I can walk, I go.  There have
been a couple of times when I had vertigo and literally couldn’t walk
… those were stay at home days, obviously.  Other than that, I
go to work even if I’m sick.  It’s just so much trouble to plan
for a sub, and the kids get all crazy because their routine is
broken.  They’re like a bunch of little Rainmen. 



I think I’ll request a mean
substitute; that way the kids appreciate me more when I return. 
The worst thing is having a fantastic sub … then the kids feel
disappointed when you come back. 



Regarding my someday new car
… what I really want is a small hybrid SUV, but the only one on the
market is the Ford Explorer.  As much as I’d like to support
American automakers, I just don’t want to spend more than $20k on
something I can’t count on.  My father has an Explorer and every
time I’m in it, it’s making some new scary sound, and my mom and dad
had horrific experiences with their Ford.  Toshi and I did test
drive a Jeep Liberty, but it feels like perpetual offroading. 
Toyota makes a Highlander SUV, but it’s too expensive and a bit too
big.  It’s great technology, I just wish they would be a little
quicker about getting other models to market.  I did look at the
Prius, and it’s really cool.  Unfortunately, it just doesn’t meet
my needs.  What I like about the RAV4 is that it has a stowaway
third row seat (which is great for hauling kids) but it’s still small
and fuel efficient.  Still not absolutely sure, but that’s the way
I’m leaning.



So, I’m off to pay bills, take a shower, and go to bed.  I’ve got thoughts on Indigolady’s
last post swimming in my head, and they’re making me nostalgic and
gloomy.  The past is the past, and there’s no way to change
it.  And the present feels pretty hopeless in that department …
despite how things may look here on the surface.  So here’s to the
future … and maybe a good dream tonight to tide me over.

Treat your mind like a bad neighborhood - don't go
there alone.
	--quote overheard (not by me ) in a 12 step meeting 

Aiya!  Today we
actually got up pretty early, ate breakfast, read the paper, and then
planned to go to Ikea to look around and have lunch.  We’re on our
way to the garage when I think to ask Toshi if he has the keys. 
Nope … no keys.  We were locked out of our place with no way of
breaking in.  Fortunately, I had my cell phone, so we called my
mom who gave us the number for a locksmith.  About an hour later
the guy shows up.  He fiddles with the lock for about four or five
minutes and then decides he can’t  pick it and has to drill
through the lock, destroying it.  He then drills a hole and uses a
screwdriver to open the door.  In all he had been at our place for
about ten minutes.  We walk him to his car where he gives us an
invoice for $200!

Oh,
and we did make it to Ikea.  For the uninitiated, Ikea is a
Swedish furniture store full of stylish but cheap stuff.  This
isn’t heirloom furniture … more like college furniture, but it’s fun
to see how designers can furnish small spaces so efficiently.  We
joke that entering our bedroom is like taking a trip to Sweden. 
It’s all Ikea … leftovers from my first apartment.  But, it is
cute.

 

No, neither of those is my bedroom. 

And, you can’t go to Ikea without having Swedish meatballs.  Tasty
and cheap with lingonberry moussecake for dessert. 

I’m already
feeling nostalgic about Christmas vacation … it feels like such a
long time ago.  For your viewing pleasure, here is a brief
retrospective of my holiday …

My family at the December birthday party at my house.  Aren’t my little sisters cute?
I’m the one in black sitting on the stairs.  Mom hates having her
picture taken so this is somewhat rare to have a picture of everyone
together.







Toshi and I took an overnight
trip to Palm Springs.  On the first day we shopped at Desert Hills
Outlet Mall and had dinner.  The following day we drove by Elvis’
honeymoon house so Toshi could take pictures.  It’s for sale, in
case you’re interested.







We took a trip on the Palm
Springs Aerial Tramway.  It’s this little car suspended from a
cable that carries you from the desert floor to the top of a mountain
in about ten minutes, all the while revolving to give you 360 degree
views.  I was quite proud that I made it through this little
anxiety attack waiting to happen without freaking out.  I’m afraid of heights, not to mention confined spaces, so that was quite a feat!







It was beautiful at the top
of the Aerial Tramway, but it was FREEZING!  In ten minutes we had
gone from lovely 70 degree weather to about 30 degrees.  We took a
very brief walk, and then went right back down the mountain.







If you’ve seen Rainman,
you’ll recognize these things.  On roadtrips Toshi always makes me
take pictures from the car.  This is a picture of those power
windmill things. 







Toward the end of the holiday
we went to the Huntington Library and Gardens in Pasadena.  It’s
one of my favorite spots.  This is the entrance to the Japanese
garden.







A picture of the Japanese
garden.  If you’ve seen Memoirs of a Geisha, this may look
familiar.  Part of the movie was filmed here.







Me crossing a bridge in the
Japanese garden.  We have many pictures of me in this pose. 
I REALLY didn’t want my picture taken that day.  (My skin was
experiencing a major catastrophe brought on by my experimentation with
Bare Minerals.  I happen to be one of a few people who has a
horrible reaction to something in their formulation.  It has been
three weeks and I’m still recovering.)  Anyway, Toshi kept calling to me and when I turned around, he would take my picture. 







“Come on!  Would you stop taking pictures already!”

Entrance into the bamboo forest.











A butterfly that we chased around trying to get its picture.



We got suckered into using
our entrance fee toward the purchase of an annual membership, so since
it’s a gorgeous day here, I think we’re off for a walk and lunch at the
Huntington.  ( I need to escape the cacaphony of Toshi singing
Ring of Fire and our neighbor’s trumpet practice. )  We
figured that the price was much less than the price of a gym
membership, and I would much rather “work out” in the great outdoors
than in a room of sweaty people.  Plus, we are supporting the
preservation of history and culture. 



One last bonus pic, even
though this was taken before our vacation when I forced Toshi to take
me to Disneyland for my birthday.  I look totally stupid, but I
think the picture is hilarious.  Check out the intense
concentration!

Happy Saturday!

Okay
— I have ABSOLUTELY no self-control.  I got home totally
exhausted, as usual.  Made dinner and then told myself I could
have a 20 minute nap.  Well, of course, 20 minutes turned into an
hour and 20 minutes. 

A
few days ago I went looking for online sudoku since so many people
around me are addicted to it.  For those who haven’t heard of it,
although it sounds like something kinky from the Orient, sudoku is
really a number game.  I found it, tried it, and it gave me a
headache.  But, on the same site, they had about twenty other
solitaire games.  If Toshi knew what I was doing, he’d probably
freak out.  During my summer of agoraphobia I played solitaire
(the kind with actual, real-life playing cards) constantly because it
was one of the only things that calmed my anxiety.  He still has flashbacks every time I pull out the cards. 

Speaking of cards, my sister’s boyfriend is a whiz with card
tricks.  During a lull at a recent birthday party at my house, we
made him perform for us.  Amazing … but unfortunately, the end
result was that my grandma now thinks he’s from the devil. 

Quote of the Day:


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness.  Think of your three best
friends.  If they’re okay, then it’s you. 
           
           
           
           
           
           
       ~Rita Mae Brown

Warning!!! Long, boring rant ahead!!!

Frustrating day at school today.  Nope, it wasn’t the kids. 
They were great, actually.  The district superintendent (my kids
have been calling him the supernintendo )
is coming for a visit tomorrow, so it’s time for the dog and pony
show.  I played slavedriver all day today trying to get everything
done.  It was a very chaotic day, but the kids were very flexible
and cooperative.  Even my little Jeff Spicoli reined it in today.

What was frustrating was a meeting I had with my principal, the school
psychologist, and the asst. superintendent in charge of special
ed.  I HATE these meetings because I have to sit with a bunch of
people who act like they know my student better than I do.  No
matter that they’ve met him once or twice or never at all and I spend
six hours a day with the kid!

When
I walked in they had already started the meeting and had determined
that he has Asperger’s Syndrome.  Well, I’ve spent a year with a
student with Asperger’s and consequently done my share of research, and
I know that “Sam” does not have Asperger’s.  Anticipating this
meeting and already having my own theory, I spent part of my weekend
researching on the internet and discovered that Sam is practically the
poster child for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder.  Every
single characteristic applied to him.   So, I presented my
theory, backed up with ample evidence, and then followed it by my
speech about how, actually, the diagnosis is not really important to
me.  I only see it as a tool in finding ways to help Sam. 
But do they listen?  No, of course not.  What do I
know? 



Instead,
they decide that Sam’s strange behaviors must be due to abuse.  I
am at this point flabbergasted to see my principal readily agreeing
with them.  Is this the same man who, just a few months ago when I
was seeking help for Sam, was trying to convince me that he exhibited
these behaviors because he was spoiled and babied at home?  So
which is it?  Spoiled or abused?  I wanted to scream. 
These are some of the nicest parents I have met.  They bend over
backwards to do whatever we suggest might help Sam.  They have
family game night, spend all kinds of time with him on his homework,
seek out advice and help wherever they can find it, and have a daughter
who has none of these idiosyncracies that Sam exhibits. 



Yes,
they do have high expectations … like almost every Asian parent I’ve
ever met.  I can see how those expectations might unintentionally
exacerbate a problem like Sam’s, but is that abuse?   So, the
outcome of the meeting was to get permission to assess Sam (that’s good
news) and to try to find parenting classes for two of the best parents
I’ve ever met.  Oh, and of course, when I asked about what
services would be available if he did qualify, they said that most
likely counseling wouldn’t help him and that he would need meds.    Despite my urge to pull my hair out (or theirs) I just kept my mouth shut and decided to cross that bridge when I come to it.



12 hours later and still seething! 

Quote of the Day:

Well, I spent the whole day in bed with an electrical appliance … nope, not what you might be thinking.    My trusty heating pad was all that saved me from pure agony today. 

Man, cramps really
suck.  Even the word “cramps” is a yucky word.  So, a whole
day of the three day weekend was shot to you know where, but I guess
the silver lining is that at least I could be at home instead of trying
to teach while bent over at a 90 degree angle.

Just one resolution this year …



    In 2006 I will find out where the real Kelly went.



    I haven’t seen her for four years and I miss her.

Happy New Year!