Okay … two days
down, seven days to go. Yesterday’s test wasn’t so bad … it was
spelling. Today was another story … much akin to driving by a
horrible accident on the freeway. You know you shouldn’t look,
but you just can’t help yourself. I can’t divulge details because
of the security affidavit I signed. (No, I’m not
kidding. Anyone who will be sharing the same air space as
THE TEST has to sign one.) Suffice it to say, the fact that the
kids have been doing something since Kindergarten is no guarantee that
they will perform said act when it counts. Now if a question is
challenging or tricky, I completely understand them missing it, but why
the easy ones … the no-brainers? And it isn’t the kids who are
struggling who are missing these easy questions … it’s the ones I
recommended for the gifted program. 
That’s when I just want to assume the fetal position under my desk. Have I taught them nothing this year?
But then I remind myself that they are eight or nine years old. 
When
I was in third grade, the test just happened one day. We didn’t
know what it was called, what it was for, or why we were taking
it. Our parents weren’t bombarded with letters, phonecalls, and
meetings pleading with them to make sure we went to bed on time and ate
a nutritious breakfast. We just showed up to school like usual to
find out that we were having a test that day. We filled in the
bubbles, and that was that. That’s how it should be.
These days, kids have full-on anxiety attacks about the test. In
fact, one of my little girls couldn’t sleep on Sunday night and threw
up on Monday morning. The special snacks, the endless test prep,
the “magic pencils”, the incentives for two weeks of perfect
attendance, all the correspondence with the parents, not to mention the
pressure teachers pass on … all of these things put so much pressure
on these poor kids, pressure that no eight year old should have to
experience.
But, if they don’t do well, we all suffer. If we miss our targets
two years in a row, we move into program improvement status, meaning
that we are in danger of being taken over by someone sent by Arnold,
our beloved governor. We also lose funding so that these advisors
can have plenty of money to pay for the inane training that does
nothing to address the real issues we face in our classrooms everyday.
Our district has the highest percentage of English Learners in
Los Angeles County (more than 64%). Many of our parents are
illiterate, illegal, or both. Most parents are working multiple
jobs just to survive … and then many of our families are living in
garages. Every year I have students with parents who are gang
members, many in prison. All of our students qualify for free or
reduced lunch, meaning that they are living in poverty. Every
year we have students enter kindergarten not knowing what a book is and
not speaking ANY language fluently. We regularly receive
“newcomers” from Mexico who have absolutely no schooling. In
fact, in the past three weeks, we have received at least four or five
newcomers. Our other 3rd grade teacher has had twelve new
students this year. Keep in mind that our class size is limited
to twenty, so that’s an awful lot of turnover … like a revolving
door. We love our kids and work incredibly hard to try to help
them bridge the gap, but we are punished because despite all of their
gains, their achievement doesn’t match that of students in affluent
districts … students who enter kindergarten reading, have tutors,
have exposure to the world beyond their own neighborhood … students
who have every opportunity that our kids don’t have.
Yes, I could go on for days and days and days. Can you tell how
much I abhor testing? I know assessments are necessary, but this
has become ridiculous. And don’t even get me started on what’s assessed
on these tests! 
I wonder how our
kids would do if they were given the tests that we used to take 25
years ago. I bet they would breeze right through.
Seven more days … then we get to cram all of the music, art, science,
social studies, P.E., field trips and fun that we’ve been skipping all
year into the last three weeks … it’s the best time of the
year. Although it’s bittersweet, I’m looking forward to really
enjoying the last few weeks with my babies.
Poisoned by Fairy Tales 
They really hyped it up at Faith’s school too – I can remember the tests being a big deal when I was a kid, but we never did any special prep, or have special snacks back then. Faith flew through hers pretty well . I’m not looking forward to the summer this year – it’s gets so darn hot here!
Things have definitely changed from the days that we took those tests. I hear ya…and it’s just unfortunate. Good luck hun.
If I weren’t sitting down…I would be jumping up and down to express just how much I echo everything you just said…it is all so important. I have only the perspective of elementary school secretary….but the pressure put upon the young children to “perform” on these tests is asinine at best. My eyes were opened wide to much of what you described…the vomiting and adult level stress in 7,8,9 year olds. Like you said, assessment is necessary…but all the hoopla surrounding the testing is such a negative force for student and teacher alike. I often wonder when someone with a logical train of thought and a mustard seed’s worth of common sense will take charge of the state of education in America….someone who can realize and be in touch with what is really going on in the classroom today…the town I worked in was much like you describe…very poor…only rural…many illegal migrant workers who couldn’t speak English..much less read or write it…depending on the broken language of their young children…..I want to tell you….that you are a hero in my eyes…and undoubtedly in the young eyes of many that you might not know….people are not aware of what being a teacher today entails….there have always been special teachers who shape and touch lives in many ways….but in today’s classroom….you make up for so much of what these children lack in their homelife…..in addition to teaching them…and all the while never knowing what kind of hostilities may emerge at any given time…from parent or student….and having to put up with all the ridiculous nonsense placed upon you by the government….who has no clue what really needs to be done….that you emerge from all this and continue to teach with love…is such a gift to all those little people fortunate enough to file into your room. Kelly…teachers like you shape the good of the future….you are the kind that when the child is in their 40’s…they will look back and remember your name fondly and with gratitude…heroic indeed.
I don’t know how to even start to thank you for taking the time to share what you have with me. Your words of “solidarity and understanding” have bolstered my spirit in a way that no advice could. I have been amazed that anyone could identify with any of my haphazard sad and emotional feelings….but that you truly understood what they are like…..understand how I feel…was help above all else. That you know the underlying fears borne of perfectionism….that you suffer from people pleasing syndrome too….What you shared about your parents…moved me like I cannot explain…the tears came quickly upon reading that…for the confusion and hurt that you must have felt….I know it is easy for me to say…but you are beyond deserving of whatever your mother might have gone through to raise you….just being born makes a child, by birthright, deserving of the absolute best a parent has within them to offer…no matter what challenges and hardships life brings about….as hard as it may be……..that she fought through herself to be with you….sounds like…and I hope it was a good thing for you….I can’t imagine a mother doing any less, although many do everyday. You certainly did NOT deserve being abandoned….I can only imagine how that must affect you even still today.
I also admire you so much for having a dream and pursuing it to the point of fruition…I would love to hear about your adventures overseas. I don’t want you to think of your life as empty….your life is full of experiences…full of what your compassion and kindness brings….but there is just extra room waiting to be filled with whatever comes next…..when you least expect it. You deserve so much someone who appreciates the special person you are….just never settle for less than that. When the time arrives for your family to begin….there will be no uncertainties, no regrets, no what if’s…you will be fully prepared to take on the next challenge in your life….and won’t whoever you choose to start that with be a very lucky person….and the future children….every child should be so loved.
I still am really at a loss to express to you how much that you and your words have meant to me….I can only say that I feel very blessed….and must have done something right….to just “bump” into someone like you out in the big universe! I had to laugh at that quote of the day….you have no idea how perfect that was….because….shhh…don’t tell anyone…but one of my guilty secrets…is I love pickle juice..from Claussen Dills….and I spend a great deal of time everyday imitating gorillas….my son is obsessed after seeing them on Animal Planet, LOL….and I intend to do some digging very soon : D Today was payday and I am going to go to farmer’s market(another love of mine) this weekend and get something blooming and pretty to put in the dirt. Yikes…I didn’t intend to take up your whole site with my comment. Ok…one last thank you for reaching out when you didn’t have to….I hope I can do the same for you! ~ Laura