Well, I somehow I managed to survive last week.
The fair was fun, but we only had about an hour and a half to look around. We made the mistake of starting off in the barns and then got caught in major traffic with the entire elementary school population of LA County. We saw the cows, fed the goats, held a baby chick (poor thing), petted a donkey, marveled at an ostrich, held our noses at the piglets, and got free chocolate milk to drink. After escaping the barn mob scene, we made a mad dash to the kids exhibit and looked at student artwork. Then it was time to go. I think that may have been the most exhausting hour and a half of my life. I felt like I was doing crowd control. I took the front and Toshi and my parent volunteer took the flanks. I figured if I could keep the kids behind me and in front of my other two grownups, we would be okay, but somehow the kids kept leaking out the sides and getting absorbed into other classes. Scary, I tell you.
Then the following day was Back to School Night. By some miracle of God we managed to get some work up on the bulletin boards, and the refreshments helped distract from the paltry amount of work on display. 
I had a packed house, so that’s good.
My class this year is challenging on a variety of levels. For one, my students’ reading levels range from pre-primer to fifth grade. It’s almost like teaching in a one-room schoolhouse but without the pre-electricity attention spans. Speaking of attention spans, second graders don’t have any. The average lesson goes something like this:
D: Which book is that? The orange one? The green one? What page did you say?
Me: The social studies book is the green one, and you’re opening to page 24.
A: Miss G? Can I go get my yogurt?
Me: No, we’re reading right now. You can eat your yogurt at recess. Take out your book.
E: Is it this one? The red one, right?
Me: Who can tell E which book we’re using? K?
K: It’s the green one. Can I use the restroom?
Me: Recess is just a few minutes away. Can you wait?
K: I think so. Can I get a drink of water?
Me: No, wait until we’re done reading.
A: Miss G … I don’t have a green book.
Me: Yes you do … if I come over there and find it, you are going to owe me $100 when you are rich and famous. Ah … found it. Okay, are we ready?
M: L took my pencil and won’t give it back … and he put it in his nose!
Me: L take the pencil out of your nose, and D, what have I said about twirling your ruler on your pencil? Pull your card. Are we all ready?
J: Miss G, my cat died on Saturday.
Me: Oh, I’m so sorry. You can tell me all about that at recess, okay?
P: My dog died when I was in first grade.
G: I saw a dead dog once in the road.
A: Miss G, my dog got a haircut last weekend.
R: I went to Chuck E. Cheese on the weekend and won 200 tickets!
Me: Okay, let’s get back to social studies. M, will you read the first paragraph for us?
M: What page are we on?
Me: Page 24.
G: M has the wrong book. He has the red book out.
E: Is it time to go home yet?
Me: My sentiments exactly. 
Honestly, I don’t know quite how I’m going to survive this year with my sanity intact. For more on my sanity, see the newest protected post.
Quotes of the Day:
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~Franklin P. Jones
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of
the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W.
Howe
Three things I am thankful for today:
1. recess
2. lunch
3. weekends 
Poisoned by Fairy Tales 
I would be living in “shoot me now” mode. Yours has to be the job requiring the most patience in the entire world. How do you keep from raising your voice? These kids and parents have no clue how lucky they are that Miss G is standing at the front of their class. See!!! It’s exactly this kind of stuff that is why I loved my third grade teacher Mrs. Chidester so much. She was the bombdiggidy! We love you Miss G!
Oh my! I truly feel for you. It does make me laugh though! Love the quotes. I hope you have a really nice bathtub, if I were you I think I would want a long soak with candles after a day like that.
my dog had a wart removed from his foot yesterday 😉 t
You are amazing Kelly…because I could not handle that!