It has now been over a year since I blogged anything substantial, in case anyone hadn’t noticed.
I’ve still been here lurking about and reading but haven’t felt motivated to post … or haven’t known where to begin. I guess it would be easiest to begin at the beginning.
The events of summer 2007 were followed swiftly by a mid-life crisis, and that kept me pretty busy for much of the year. Lots of therapy, lots of tears and frustrations, lots of epiphanies, lots of changes. In short, I finally realized that life was going to keep handing me the same lessons over and over until I finally learned them, so I hit the books, so to speak. I’m sure there will be more on that another time.
I emerged from my little crisis with a fresh perspective and resolved to think less and do more … dangerous for some, maybe, but essential for me because I’d been paralyzed for too long waiting for everything to look right or sound right or feel right.
To that end, I sold the condo, eloped with Toshi, and bought a house. The elopement was the best decision I had made in a long time; in fact, it was one of the only decisions I had made in a long time. We got married at the county clerk’s office in San Luis Obispo. Only my parents were there, and nobody knew. In fact, lots of people still don’t know since I’m lazy as all getout when it comes to mailing anything. It was lovely … simple and stress-free. It was very “us”. We then went to Cambria and had a fantastic, but short, honeymoon. My parents got us a room at a very nice hotel with a fireplace and a balcony overlooking the beach. We both wished we could have stayed there forever, but, alas, there was packing to do and papers to sign.
We bought a foreclosure property with four bedrooms, two and a half baths, and an actual yard. (My daydreams of gardening have now been tarnished by the reality of dirt, sweat, and bugs … sigh.) Since moving in September, we have redone the kitchen and all of the flooring except for three of the bedrooms. We have also redone the fireplace, added recessed lighting, and built a fence. It’s been crazy busy but gratifying.
I feel like I’m leaving out huge chunks of important information, and I am. Like how I went from kicking Toshi out to marrying him or how I survived the most difficult year of my teaching career and came back for more by keeping my class for another year. But, I guess those are the parts I’m not sure how to communicate. Suffice it to say that I am not the same Kelly I was a year ago, and I don’t think I could have survived this past year and a half if I were the same Kelly.
I can’t tell you how liberating it has been to let go of my impossible expectations of myself and the world around me. In some ways, it’s those expectations that made it so hard for me to blog consistently … even the simplest blog took forever because I had to find the perfect quote or the perfect picture or the perfect words. Well, f*** perfection. (hey, I am still a third grade teacher, you know!) So, one of my goals for my new mediocre self is to blog consistently … even if the blogs are crappy … and even if nobody reads them. And I will have fun doing it, even if it kills me.
And so there you have it.
Topics for future crappy blogs include:
Adventures in Therapy
The Gallbladder: friend or foe?
Crockpot Cookery
Why I Hate My Mantel
My Dreams for Steven
The Geography of Bliss
Living in an Anthill
The Circle of Life in Room 10
What I Had for Dinner
I hope that everyone I used to read who no longer blogs will consider coming out of hiding; come on … let’s all write mediocre blogs together! And to those who never disappeared but consistently share themselves and their lives here, I am grateful to you for your comforting presence and apologize for being a crummy cyberfriend last year.
So for now, ladies and gentlemen, please return your trays and seats back to their upright position in preparation for our descent into real life. Yep, that’s it. Vacation is over and it’s a long way to spring break. For now, I leave you with this …
Quote of the Day:
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life…
~Anne Lamott
(and no, I did not spend hours looking for that perfect quote about perfectionism … I promise!)

It sounds to me like both you and Toshi had to go through hard times together to realize your bond. Not that going through it was a barrel of fun (oh if I could count the times I’ve been in that barrel!!!), but sometimes that’s what it takes for us to realize what our hearts won’t accept. I am so glad you are in a better place…you’ve been on my mind and when you’ve commented my blogs, I come to see if you’ve updated. Let’s both have a much better 2009, shall we?
Congratulations on your marriage. Barry and I eloped too, it’s so much less stress. I can’t wait to see pictures of your house and now you need to give me your new address. Good thing I didn’t send out Christmas cards this year. lol, I would claim some sort of pyschic insight that you wouldn’t get it but I’d be fibbing. I just put it off like I have so many things this year. The difference is you can put off Christmas cards only so long and then it’s to late.
Therapy is good, if you have a good therapist. I’m on 2 different anti-depressants and they have done wonders for me. I was going to go talk to a therapist but the soldiers came back and they get first priority. I’m not sure what I would talk about even if I did go so it doesn’t matter.
I can write mediocre with the best of them! Oh and I vote the gallbladder a foe. Christmas Day 2006, emergency gallbladder surgery for Bear. What’s your story?
Hope you’re doing great! It’s wonderful to hear updates! :o) Congrats on the marriage!! xo
Vow, congrats Kelly.
How did your surgery go? And what else is new in the new house? Where are my mediocre blogs you promised? (As you can see I still live, lol)
come on … let’s all write mediocre blogs together!… Amen to that my friend. I’m trying, but I’ve got that perfectionist bug too. As if I have some audience to please and expand. (Actually, I would like to expand my audience, but that’s a different story). Thanks for still not only reading but commenting after all these years. It really does mean a lot to me.I always flirt with the idea of coming back to Xanga but I just don’t know… it’s not the same to me. It’s gotten so… big and complicated. I guess having been here in the simple, early days makes me nostalgic for them. Back when there weren’t credits and Minis and audio and video and “pulse” and there was just simple, not-so-reliable Xanga, not this family of sites they run now.I’m very happy for you that you finally found some peace and happiness in life. Marriage is always a complex undertaking but with the right other half of the equation, it truly can be the most wonderful adventure of this short life.I have you on Facebook so you can keep up with the day-to-day mundane stuff there… in the meantime you have to promise that if I write more, you will too. Deal? We can ride the cutting edge of mediocrity together!
And yes, I have returned and thanks for commenting, once again Now come out of the woodwork!