I cleaned out a box from a closet in my parents’ house today and found a small, folded scrap of paper.  When I opened it, I found this note:

It is dated 8/23/97 … almost 9 years ago.  It had been three years since I left Taiwan and two years since we broke up.  He had come to visit me in Los Angeles … the first time he had ever left Taiwan … the first time anyone in his family had ever been on a plane.  He stayed for a week, and we drove all over Southern California seeing the sights.  At the end of the week, he told me that he had come with the intention of asking me to marry him, but in the end we just kept running into the same walls that had come between us and that same hope two years before. 

When I drove him to the airport, every fiber of my being wanted to get on that plane with him because something in me knew that if I let him go,  it would be the last time I would see him.  Right before he boarded the plane, he kissed me and slipped a small scrap of paper into my hand.  With that he was gone.  Thirteen years since we met, nine years since we last saw each other, eight months since we last spoke, and seldom does a day go by that he doesn’t somehow enter my mind. 

Here’s what we did last night …

We
were tag team babysitting my two nieces and two nephews with my dad and
stepmom.  It was a wild and crazy night!  That’s us with my
newest nephew, Nicholas.   What could be better than playing
with babies? 

The strangest thing happened today.  As I was coming back from the
mailbox, I saw out of the corner of my eye an envelope taped to the
wall, and it had my name on it!  It turned out that it was from my
grandma.  It was, of all things, an apology letter for some
judgemental comments she made at our lunch the other day.  I was
shocked!  That is so unlike my
grandma.  I called and spoke to her, and she was very
contrite.  It sounds funny to say this, but I’m really proud of
her.

Toshi and I were planning to be in San Diego today, but we stayed at my
stepsister’s house playing with the kids too late last night.  I
still wanted to go, but Toshi wasn’t feeling spontaneous.  He
likes to “do research” and have things planned out.  Or maybe I
should say he likes me to do
research and plan things, and to every suggestion he says,
“Sure.  Whatever.  I don’t care.”  In case you can’t
already see where I’m heading with this, we had a “disagreement.” 
He won, and we didn’t go. 

Instead we grouched around the house today. Yep … fun.   When I
finally couldn’t stand it anymore, I escaped to a teacher supply store
I had never visited before.  I guess I really am a teacher,
through and through; I could practically feel my pulse quicken as I
stepped through the door and saw gobs and gobs of border for bulletin
boards.  I spent three hours there, but I’m proud of myself
because I held my purchases down to $50 worth.  
I’ll have to return to spend the lottery money we get from the state
every year.  Thank you to people who play the lottery!


Quote of the Day:




Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.  ~Robert Gallagher



Things I am thankful for:

1.  babies
2.  Grandma turning over a new leaf
3.  new border 

Yesterday
was definitely a study in contrasts.  I attended two different
picnics.  One was the birthday party for my student’s niece and
the other was the concert in the park with my realtor.

        picnic in the ‘hood                 vs.        picnic in the garden

After dinner we went to see An Inconvenient Truth.  It was an eye-opening film.  I recommend that you see it if you have a chance.  I
can see why it’s been called “the scariest film of the summer.”
   It made me want to move out to the middle of the
countryside and figure out a way to live without producing greenhouse
gases.  It also made me question my desire to have children. 
So much food for thought …

Saw something interesting at the theater besides the movie too.  
A family came in and, of course, sat right in front of us, even though
the theater was nearly empty.  After I finished wondering why they
couldn’t have sat themselves anywhere else, I started wondering why
anyone would bring young children to watch two hours of Al Gore. 
Before I was even done wondering about that, I saw them take their dog
out of a backpack and sit her on mom’s lap. 
Hello?  Does the dog really need to see this film?  To the
dog’s credit, she was really quiet and well-behaved, but still … come
on, people!

I
hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend.  As for me, my weekend is
continuing for about three more weeks, as my summer job has ended and I
am on vacation once again.  Yay!

Things I am thankful for today:

Our trip to
the Mission today was short and sweet.  We got there a little bit
after 9 a.m., and it was already warm.  I’m not sure the girls got
much out of the trip.  Unfortunately, one of the first things they
saw was a cemetery and then a sign saying that throughout the grounds
there were about 6,000 Indians buried.  After that, they were
freaked out and afraid to go into any of the buildings.  The
somewhat macabre Catholic imagery didn’t help matters … nor did the
fact that there was a funeral going on at the time. 

By
10 a.m. the heat was oppressive, so after a quick visit to the gift
shop, we headed for lunch at Souplantation … a salad
bar/buffet.  The girls had corn and sunflower seeds from the salad
bar, pizza bread, and lots of ice cream … not exactly nutritious, but
they enjoyed themselves.  One of them is a total chatterbox; boy,
can that girl talk!  I love her dearly, but by the time we dropped
her off, Toshi and I were both completely exhausted.  Her mom says
she talks from the moment she wakes up until the moment she falls
asleep, and I believe it! 
Of course, her mom is exactly the same way.  The apple doesn’t
fall far from the tree.  But, I absolutely love their family and
wish they would adopt me. 



Tomorrow we are attending a
birthday party for the niece of my chatterbox and then going to a
concert with my realtor.   Both sounded like a great idea
when I committed to go, but now I just wish I could laze around the
house.  I guess that’s what’s on tap for Sunday. 

Happy weekend, everyone!

Things I’m thankful for today:

1.  It is finally cooling down.  Only in the mid-90’s today!
2.  My fishies who are always happy to see me.
3.  peace and quiet 

Well,
Grandma behaved herself.  She didn’t actively pry … it was more
of the Chinese water torture approach this time.  The
uncomfortable silence … the sound of the clock ticking … suddenly I
find myself spilling stuff without her even asking for it.  How
did that happen? 

Anyway, she now thinks I’m getting married.  Let’s see if you come
to the same conclusion … here’s exactly what I said: 

  
Huh?  Whatever.  I didn’t set the record straight because it
wasn’t something I even wanted to discuss in the first place.



Other
than that, the conversation wasn’t really so terrible.  What was
truly a challenge was the lunch … everything that makes me gag all
artfully arranged on a plate.  I absolutely, positively cannot
stomach mayonnaise … can’t even wash dishes that have been tainted by
mayo without wanting to upchuck.  So you need to appreciate the
fact that I ate not only a sandwich slathered with mayo but also potato
salad, my worst nightmare and then some.  I still don’t know how I
did it.  I did manage to dodge the beets, however, because they
were on a relish tray rather than directly on my plate.  Whew!

Guess what … it’s still hot.  Not just hot … it’s blistering, sweltering, the-apocalypse-is-approaching hot. 
On top of that, Mother Nature decided to pay me my own special visit
these past few days and brought with her cramps and splitting
headaches.  So, I spent most of the weekend holed  up at my parents’ house hiding from the heat, eating takeout,  downing Tylenol, accomplishing nothing, and totally not caring.  This neverending heatwave
has me fluctuating from feeling melancholy and slightly depressed to
feeling downright psychotic.   And, it is all anyone is
talking about lately.  News reporters, coworkers, family members,
friends, grocery clerks, strangers standing in line … I can’t even
escape into a little denial.  Case in point … Toshi is standing
here in his boxers right this very second saying, “It’s hot tonight, isn’t it?”  Well, hmmm … no, 90 degrees at 11:00 p.m. feels downright pleasant to me.  YES, it is HOT!!!



Other than the fact that I
am literally stuck to the couch and my skin has decided to molt, I have
nothing else of any interest to report. 



And that has been your weather report for this evening … and now back to your regular programming. 



Oh, wait … things I’m thankful for today:

Wow!  I thought of three! 

Another day
of summer wasted.  I went to my committee meeting where we didn’t
do much of anything except snack and peruse two textbook
programs.  Then I stopped at my parents’ house to take advantage
of their air conditioning.  I ended up falling asleep and had the
best two hours of sleep I’ve had in a long time.  Came home and
made dinner … then we watched “WalMart: The High Cost of Low Price”,
the movie I referred to a couple of days ago.  I have now decided
to cancel my Sam’s Club membership and renew my promise to never set
foot in a WalMart again.  The movie itself was not that fantastic
in terms of the flow and the quality of the sound and editing, etc.,
but the information it presented was so important.  I recommend
that you see it if you have a chance.  You can also see clips on
the website.



I’ve
been promising the fishies that I’ll clean their bowls, but I just
haven’t felt motivated to do anything in this heat.  Today,
however, I noticed that their water is quickly evaporating, so I’ve
gotta do it tonight.  I haven’t felt like paying bills
either.  I sorted through them last night and saw that the gas
bill was going to be late, so I just paid that one because it would
require too much energy to pay all of them on one day.   Even
writing a check and addressing an envelope seems like such a colossal
undertaking these days. 



Grandma has been calling
all week to set up a time to get together, and I successfully managed
to avoid her calls until today.  Don’t get me wrong … I love my
grandma, but I much prefer her in a large group setting.  One on
one meetings with Grandma are dangerous because she always has an
ulterior motive.  This time I’m sure she intends to grill me about
why I’m still not married and then try to pry into everyone else’s
dysfunctionality as well.  Can’t wait.



Things I’m thankful for today:

1.  I’m not a small business owner in a town that’s getting a new WalMart.

2.  I’m not an employee of WalMart having to rely on public assistance to survive.

3.  My parents’ central air

4.  Chinese dumplings … yum!

Quote of the Day:




It is often easier to become outraged by injustice half a world away
than by oppression and discrimination half a block from home.  ~Carl T.
Rowan

Well,
the AC guy just left.  He says the air compressor gave out. 
That doesn’t surprise me because our AC unit is over 20 years
old.  This sucks for two main reasons:



1.  There’s no quick fix, and thus, no cool air or comfort in the near future.

2.  It will cost between $2,000 and $4,000 to buy a new air conditioner.      So much for summer goal #3.  I guess it will have to wait again.



My parents are headed out to Vegas
tomorrow morning, and my sister and her friends are going on Friday
morning.  Oh, how I wish I were going too.  I promise I would
stay away from the slot machines.  I’d be perfectly content to
just hole up in a nice air-conditioned room with my stack of books and
a couple movies.

Quote of the Day:

Patience:  A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue. 
           
           
           
           
           
           
           ~Ambrose Bierce

I know I’m
beating a dead horse, but man, it’s hot!  Usually every
summer we have a couple of heat waves.  Each one lasts about three
or four days.  This summer, however, has been one big heat
wave.  And I know most of you are feelin’ my vibe on this
one.  The weather channel showed that most cities across the U.S.
are about 8-10 degrees hotter than their average temps.  And it
feels like there’s no end in sight.  Well, the air conditioning
folks are coming on Friday, so at least that should help a little
bit.  It wouldn’t be so bad if it cooled down at night, but it
still feels hot and sticky. 



The
general mood of crankiness continues … I got on Toshi’s case when I
got home today because he was doing laundry in the middle of the
afternoon.  “Hey, what are you doing using appliances during peak
hours?  Haven’t you heard that we all need to ‘flex our power’ and
conserve?” Poor guy probably feels like he can’t do anything
right.   On top of doing laundry, he also made a trip to
Target and bought 80 million rolls of toilet paper and paper towels …
along with two huge containers of detergent. Yes, I understand that
they were on sale, but we have no place to put all these
stockpiles.  I am currently looking at an arrangement of T.P. in
the middle of the living room.  (To give credit where credit is
due, he did buy the kind of T.P. and detergent that I like … you know
what they say, once bitten …)



I’ve started experimenting
these past few days.  I have been puzzling over whether to take a
warm shower or a cold shower.  If I take a warm shower, it feels
crummy while I’m in it, but when I step out the air feels relatively
cool.  If I take a cold shower, it feels great while I’m in it,
but when I step out, the air feels relatively hot.  So far no
definitive answer as to which is the better choice.  I guess I
could take a cold shower and then crank up the heat right before I get
out.  Okay … that’s tonight’s experiment.  Hey, maybe I
just shouldn’t get out.   
I could just spend the whole day in the tub.  I need to move my
little TV in there and get one of those shelves to hold my book. 
Then I’d be all set!



Okay … enough griping …



A few of the things I am thankful for today:



1.  The air
conditioner in our committee meeting classroom has been working for
three of the five hours we are there each day.  (the glass is half
full … the glass is half full … the glass is half full …)



2.   We are on vacation and the kids don’t have to be in school during this hideous weather.



3.  The sound of the crickets chirping outside makes everything feel calm and peaceful.



4.  I got to see an
old friend who I haven’t seen since before Christmas.  And, as if
that’s not enough, we had Christmas in July, and she gave me a gift
card to Barnes and Noble.  Yay for new books!



5.  Toshi didn’t buy a ton of that cheap scratchy T.P. 

Totally Irrelevant Quote of the Day:

“I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small
dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip
it off.”
               
              
              
              
             
      ~Ellen Degeneres

I am beginning to
have a personal understanding of why crime rates rise in hot
weather.  This heat has me more than a little cranky.  It was
at least 105 degrees yesterday.  Today was supposed to be about
five degrees cooler, but you could’ve fooled me.  Our air
conditioner is broken, and at 8:45 p.m. it is still downright miserable
in here.  I have no desire to do anything at all, and yet I feel
guilty that I spent a whole day doing absolutely nothing but trying not
to stick to the couch.  I’m currently working on reading five
different books … probably because I don’t have enough patience to
stick to one thing for more than two minutes.   That’s about
how long the intervals are between Toshi’s reminders that it seems
hotter than last year.  No, really?

We
spent yesterday traveling from one air conditioned place to another …
for thirteen hours!  We went to breakfast, my parents’ house, the
movies, the mall, IKEA, the Great Indoors, dinner, another mall, Home
Depot, and *gasp* WalMart.  It turns my stomach and goes against
all my principles to even think of setting foot in a WalMart, but
that’s just how desperate I was to find some relief in the form of a
fan that will fit in the bedroom window.  It was the only place
open; I still find it alarming that I was willing to stoop that
low.  (For more on WalMart, go here to the website for The High Cost of Low Prices.)

I am working half
days for the next week and a half.  Our district finally, after
eons of using (or not using) the same outdated textbook, has formed a
social studies committee charged with piloting new social studies
programs.  I am so excited about the possibilities and even moreso
about the air conditioning!  For the next three days we will be
hearing presentations from publishers.  For the following two days
the committee will be selecting two programs to pilot, and I will be
joining a second committee to create curriculum for third grade about
our local history.  It will be nice to be with like-minded people
who still believe that the content areas are important even though
they’re not on The Test.

I hope you’re all finding some way to keep cool. 

Quote of the Day:

It’s hot!
I can’t get cool,
I’ve drunk a quart of lemonade.
I think I’ll take my shoes off
And sit around in the shade.

It’s hot!
My back is sticky,
The sweat rolls down my chin.
I think I’ll take my clothes off
And sit around in my skin.

It’s hot!
I’ve tried with ‘lectric fans,
And pools and ice cream cones.
I think I’ll take my skin off
And sit around in my bones.

It’s still hot!
               
              
   ~Shel Silverstein