Okay … today was a depressing day. 



It started off with a
disgusting snippet on the news.  Apparently trading around
horrific pictures has become boring and passe to all the pedophiles out
there, so now they’ve taken to live webcasts of molestation. 
Apparently there was a sting, and the authorities caught a bunch of
people.  What kind of sick world do we live in?  The youngest
victim was only 18 months old.  I can’t even imagine what kind of
person could do such a thing.  It literally makes me sick.    When I hear news like that, I just feel so hopeless about the state of the world and the people in it.



Then on my way to work
there was an accident on the opposite side of the freeway.  As I
passed it, I saw the coroner’s van pulling up.  Someone on their
way to work just like any other day wouldn’t be going home that night
to his family.  While we were all grumbling about being stuck in
traffic or late to work, a family had been irrevocably altered. 
Made me think … I take so many things for granted and so often let my
life live itself.  I need to step back and get some perspective;
these days I often feel like I am just existing rather than really
living.



And finally, at the end of
the day, one of my little girls (I’ll call her D) approached me to say
that she wasn’t feeling well.  She felt so sick that she couldn’t
even really verbalize what was wrong.  I sent her to the restroom
in case she needed to throw up and told her to then go straight to the
office. 



Last week, this same little
girl had petechiae (little broken blood vessels) under her eyes. 
It worried me so I sent her to the health aide who then called the
district nurse.  The nurse said they were probably caused by
sneezing or coughing.  That night I looked it up online and found
that while petechiae can be caused by sneezing or coughing, they can
also be a sign of something much more serious.  Now, you have to
understand that given an ache or pain and a good ten minutes with a
medical encyclopedia, I can diagnose myself with any number of deadly
illnesses, so I tried not to jump to conclusions.  The next day,
D’s red spots had begun to fade and she was behaving normally … doing
cartwheels at recess, etc.  So, I thought the nurse must be right
and just let it go with the note the nurse had sent home to mom. 



But, earlier today D
complained of a tender spot on her neck.  I explained that it was
probably a swollen gland which just meant that her body was working on
fighting off some infection, but in my mind all kinds of bells and
whistles were going off. 



After I sent D to the
office this afternoon, her friends told me that during lunch she
suddenly felt so tired that she just laid down on the grass.  And
when I went to see her in the office after school she said that she had
a headache and felt like throwing up and just suddenly felt so tired
… all symptoms of leukemia, as are petechiae and swollen
glands.  I keep telling myself that it’s probably nothing, but I’m
just so scared for her.  So, if you’re of the praying persuasion,
please say a prayer for D as you read this.  All children are
special, but D is truly an amazing child … the kind of little girl
who can perceive when someone needs a hug or word of encouragement and
is always there to fill that need.



Sorry so bleak … hopefully tomorrow will bring good news of some kind.